Book Releases

COLLISION DAMAGE – M/M Trans Romance – Coming October 16, 2021

I’m releasing a novella titled COLLISION DAMAGE on October 16, 2021.

Real quick I just want to say that 2021 has been a hell of a year. I put out four books that I’m mostly proud of. I’ve started writing erotic shorts that are fun and scratch the “put something out now!” itch. I’ve made some amazing writer friends via Twitter, who are all extremely talented and wonderful. As this year begins to wind down, I’m thinking a lot about the future and what kind of work I want to put into the world.

This year I also came out as trans. And because of that, I want to write as many trans masc characters as I can fucking stand. There are some beautiful and challenging stories out there featuring trans masc characters and I want nothing more than to add to that number. I’ve also seen a good bit of chatter about how trans characters should be allowed to be messy, not a monolith or a “good example,” and that struck a chord with me.

So bearing that in mind, I wrote COLLISION DAMAGE. It’s a story about some messy nerds making questionable decisions, some that readers may not agree with on a practical level. That’s fine. Life is full of stupid decisions, but I adore the magic that happens when things work out. Finding love and acceptance despite our faults is the pinnacle of romance to me.


About COLLISION DAMAGE:

Jonas would probably have more going for him if he had more than a high school GED and didn’t have to work two jobs. He spends his off days alone or at his friend Nicky’s, drinking beer and occasionally playing board games.

When he meets Harper, who runs tabletop games at a local meetup, Jonas is initially rebuffed by Harper’s cold, disinterested exterior. But as he gets to know Harper through subsequent encounters, he learns Harper is trans, owns a used bookstore/hobby shop, and unfortunately shares an apartment with his ex-boyfriend.

Despite Jonas’s initial impression, Harper turns out to be kind and patient. As they spend more time together, Jonas’s feelings for Harper evolve into something deeper than friendship. As he starts to consider the future instead of existing from day to day, he finds that life is full of meaning and possibility despite being messy and unexpected.

You can pre-order COLLISION DAMAGE on Amazon for $2.99. (And unlike my past releases, this title will not be available for Kindle Unlimited.)

You can also check out the official playlist for COLLISION DAMAGE on Spotify.


This book is the first of many planned stories featuring trans men finding love. If you can’t wait, check out some of my recent speculative erotic shorts which all feature trans men:

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Book Releases, Elle Says Stuff

Two new books, lots of thoughts, and the future

Whoops, I had two books come out since my last post.

  • PRODIGY is a novel about a surly genius AI programmer who takes on a project to perfect a sex bot, which includes a wunderkind live-in assistant that he eventually falls for.
  • OF BONES & TWILIGHT is a novella full of rural magic and smut and cross-country travel. (AKA Elle imagines a story where RDR2 has more gay witches and beast men)

These might be the last books I self-pub for 2021 and I have some thoughts on that. Okay, a lot of thoughts.

I’m still pretty green to self-publishing, much less the queer writing community as a whole. Gotta say, self-publishing is absolutely terrifying! And I’m saying that as someone who can do everything from the ground up—the writing, of course, but the book design, cover, promotion attempts, etc.

I’ve never felt as vulnerable as I did when my first book released. I could see from the KDP reports that it was being read, that people had bought it, but when a few ratings trickled on Goodreads, I had that moment of “oh shit OH SHIT WHAT I AM I DOING I CAN’T HANDLE THIS.”

Thankfully that feeling has died down considerably, and I just wanted to talk about some of the things contributing to that, among other thoughts I have at this point in my writing process.

1) I set up my Twitter writing account in November 2020, right about the time I had done exactly enough research on self-publishing to say, “Shit, I can do this.” From there I just sort of binge-followed authors whose books I enjoyed or whatever suggestions Twitter threw at me.

Somewhere between my first book coming out in February and working on the next three that were scheduled to release by June, some priorities in my personal life began to shift. I started having a lot of inward questions about my gender presentation, which is in no small part due to the fact that my day job has had me working from home since mid-March 2020. I realized not having to put on business casual clothes, with the added pressure of also applying makeup, was actually a huge relief. That only contributed to further internal dialogues with myself—namely, I no longer felt comfortable being perceived as a woman, or feminine in any way. I’m convinced writing from male perspectives absolutely played a role in this mindset and that’s definitely a blog post for another day.

The realization that I was trans realigned me to start following more loudly queer writers. And in the midst of all that, I can say as of writing this that I feel like I’ve found a nice little corner of writer twitter that feels like “my folks.” This has skyrocketed my confidence in my writing. And now I’m eager to write more transmasc perspectives—out of personal desire and affirmation, as well as the need for more transmasc voices in the writing market.

2) I’ve mentioned on other posts about how releasing four books in the span of six months started with more of a clerical error on my part. But you know what? I fucking did it. When I load up my Amazon author page and see those four books next to each other, I feel a huge spectrum of emotions—pride, confidence, terror, elation.

But most of all, I feel relieved. Because I’ve spent the first half of 2021 hustling to meet these self-imposed deadlines and now I can take several steps back and breathe. I stand by the work I published, but there were several instances where I wished I had more time. Maybe as writers we never really shake the feeling that we always could have done more for a book, done better by a story, but the crunch absolutely didn’t help in that regard.

When I set my three WIPs up for pre-order, they were mostly fleshed out in how I wanted them to go. But I overestimated my ability to give appropriate focus to what I needed to. One example: NOCTURNE’S THRALL had more interior book design, and I wanted that for my other books, but there wasn’t much time to play around with that when it came down to it. It took all I had just to get them all formatted into EPUB in time for AMZN’s pre-order submission deadline.

There’s a reason people take years to write books—you need that breathing room.

And next time I am FOR REAL not submitting something to KDP until the draft is complete.

3) It took these four books for me to realize where I want to stand in this amorphous writing community. Trad pub doesn’t interest me at this time; I am simply having too much fun doing what I want, and I especially do not want trad pub to be a barrier to more trans voices in the market. Do I wish I had the marketing and promotional smarts to flip my books to a wider audience? Of course. But I also bask in any attention I do receive. Reviews trickling into AMZN and GR feel sincere. I have no idea how anyone finds my books outside of my Twitter followers, but it feels like I’m doing something right, even on a small scale.


Finally—I want to talk about the future! I of course have about twenty WIPs on deck, but I’m going to let them actually simmer this time around. (Note: twenty is 100% an exaggeration, but it is more than five and that feels like A Lot.)

I’m hoping to get back to reading more regularly and reviewing things that I thoroughly enjoy/wish I had written on this blog, because I find great merit in examining why I like things or why they click with me so well. I also have a mighty urge to support all my wonderful Twitter mutuals’ writing.

I also maybe kind of want to design book covers for other indie authors? It’s something I enjoy so much even though I am not professionally trained in graphic design.

I also want to work on posting more casual writing—be it something serialized, or fanfiction, or what-have-you. Because despite all this “needing to breathe” I need to do, I am a teensy bit addicted to that instant gratification of putting something out there and getting an immediate reaction.

But mostly I just want to continue settling into this feeling of community, and contributing positively in whatever way I can.

So uh, watch this space? I’m sure I’ll be getting into a multitude of shenanigans for the back half of 2021, and I’m so excited to share every bit!

Book Releases

ETHANOMICON – M/M Paranormal Romance – Coming April 16, 2021

I’m probably mega-late on making this post, but that’s the beauty of self-publishing: I do what I want and I get to it when I get to it.

My next book, ETHANOMICON, is coming out April 16, 2021. I had a lot of fun with this story, even with designing the cover, and I’m so utterly jazzed about sharing it.

Twentysomething Ethan encounters a mysterious stranger in the arcade of the bowling alley where he works. Turns out the man is no human, but a demon named Pez, who enjoys vintage arcade games, breakfast food, and making Ethan’s head spin whenever he’s nearby. Even with Pez’s intricate tattoos and enchanting presence, demons are probably not great boyfriend material, right? So why can’t Ethan stay away, despite being warned that his involvement with Pez will bring destruction to the mortal plane?

This book is a m/m dark paranormal romance with a HEA. Full content warnings can be found inside.

Speaking of fun, I thought this time around I’d give a shot to some of those excerpt images I’ve seen folks posting. These were super enjoyable for me to make, since I’m always itching to stretch my Photoshop muscles but feel like I can only create so many book covers.

I can’t wait for y’all to meet Pez and Ethan. April 16th is right around the corner!

Preorder on Amazon (Available for Kindle Unlimited)

Elle Says Stuff

So you wanna be a self-published romance author?

I’m starting this post on the evening before my first self-published book comes out. I wish I could say the month of January flew by and I just can’t believe my book release is already here! But January was half a year long and I’ve been an anxious mess with impostor syndrome burning hot every day.

I figured I would learn some things about myself in this process, so this first part is more about the mental experience as a new author going through the self-publishing process:

  • As of this writing I have 14 pre-orders, plus a few friends I know for sure will be reading via Kindle Unlimited. Having pre-orders is a blessing and a curse. Blessing because wow, people are interested based off a cover, a blurb, and my sparse attempts at “marketing” over social media! And some have even said as much through social media and that is just the coolest fucking thing. But also it’s daunting, because I am terrified my book will be a disappointment, even though I have written, revised, edited, and prepped the shit out of this book multiple times since I first submitted it for pre-order at the beginning of January. In fact, I was still making small changes to the manuscript a few days before the Amazon cut-off, mostly to convince myself that no, this book is not as terrible as your bar self-esteem demon wants you to believe.
  • What did help with some of the self-doubt was having a few early readers (I hesitate to call them ARCs because the process was a lot more casual than that). So I did receive external feedback before setting the pre-order date. The feedback was mostly positive with a few things that weren’t effective. Now did I have the chance to resend my early readers the revised version so I could get a “yes that’s better”? Nope. But if I can’t trust myself to absorb feedback and execute rewrites that fulfil the need, self-publishing is going to be a pretty difficult venture moving forward. Especially because I may not always have early readers, and at the end of the day, the onus is on me to tell my story well.
  • While we’re on the subject of forcing my work on friends: in my times of doubt I had to trust in the people who know me, who tell me what I am doing is good. Get you some people like that, people who will shower you with compliments and people who will be kind with their honesty. Both will get you through the rough days.
  • I think this process solidified more than anything that I want to write things from the heart. I don’t want to chase tropes or niches necessarily, though my work is not free of them. The good stuff comes from the heart. There are attributes to this story that anyone who knows me well will say, “Ha! That’s totally you!” Some of my own experiences live and breathe in this book. But I also had to do a lot of research. A lot of half-sentences abandoned in the early draft so I could figure something out with some quick (or not) googling. Take the time to do that. It’s very exhausting to come up with everything from scratch.
  • The best erotic romance I have read makes me feel things on a personal level. This is not what all erotic romance does, but it is the kind I enjoy reading and the kind I want to write. I wanted my characters to be truly good for each other with a promise that would grow as people together. I hope this book connects with people the same way I have connected with other stories. But I also hope you enjoyed the sex scenes too.

Now for some more process-specific notes:

  • Make backups. Date them. Make them often. Then set up a Google Drive and have it sync and back up your stuff some more. Google Drive has built in version history, so you’ll have backups on backups on backups. I cannot stress this enough. Only sync your Google drive to one computer; from experience, this fucked me up a couple of times before I realized it wasn’t worth it to have it synching two computers at once (probably not an issue for most of you out there these days, but hi, I come from a family of many gadgets).
  • I made my own cover. I designed the inside of my book. Those are things I wanted to do because I have a stupid amount of experience, both personal and professional, in making documents Pretty™. You do not have to do all of these things to self-publish your book. The cover is important to draw in potential readers, yes, but your work doesn’t need flashy chapter headings and intricate section dividers. The magic is the words themselves. It just makes sense to me and my perfectionist self to have a book design that I think is worthy to footnote my work.  
  • Since apparently I am super high maintenance when it comes to self-publishing, a cool revision/editing thing I did was send my drafts to Kindle (with some preliminary formatting of course) and read through them that way. It is a lot easier to spot things with less words on a page. That way I could pretend to experience it as a reader, too. Admittedly the built in “highlight and note” feature isn’t my favorite to notate necessary changes, but I made it work. At the very least, it made me slow down and focus on improving the work.

In closing, this might have been one of the most challenging and difficult things I’ve ever done. Clearly I am not unique in that, but I might just ignore the internet for a week and hibernate. See y’all on the other side. ✌